"The upsetting experiences of your past will not be your resting place"-Amanda Morris
Thunder in veins,
tears filled pupils,
slashed heart,
shaken soul: Tells the tale of my virtual school semester in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Eyes glued to a screen for hours on end, void of meaningful relationships, bonding, and aide usually offered by classmates.
The Struggle
The past semester was the worst in my entire life. I was failing miserably in some courses, scrambling to allot time to the mountain load of work that never seemed to end.
Whilst walking on the road one dark evening a series of thoughts flickered through my mind: Will we ever go back to normal? No, it doesn't seem like it" But I really hate this I want to hit my grade goals. I want to go to different new places and experience new things; I hate this, I really don't wanna be here, experiencing all of this pain.
For the first time, I think I got a grasp of what people who have depression or suicidal thoughts experience.
Luckily for me however I had the arms of God to lean on, through prayers, reading the bible, or listening to sermons on youtube. Even being around family members (which was also distracting at times) who would supply jokes and immense encouragement. Friends who never belittled my pain & struggle. I remember a period when I was in the midst of my crying session and my mentor sent me a DM "Hey Yammy! I know it's your first exam season at uni and that it can be overwhelming BUT you can do it! I know you've been working hard all semester and I'm so proud of you ❤️ Just a little more to go! Please also take care of yourself during this hectic time. You're a self-care Queen though, you didn't need me to tell you that 😝"
The message mirrored water being poured into my desert of life at that time. I want to add if the memory of someone pops into your mind do message them you never know how much help you can offer. The part that made me chuckle was the 'You're a self-care Queen though' It was ironic, wasn't it? At that very moment, I was releasing rivers of tears and this individual reminds me of what I preach; I thought to myself "this self-care queen is drained though, like am I really a self-care queen?".
Individuals who talk about self-care/improvement are often seen in a different light- perfect, got everything going, have only minor setbacks. However the self-care/improvement ethos does not say life will be perfect rather it posits that you should develop tools to propel you through those hard times, practice them well enough so that when the painful periods come you can employ them. I got a phrase from an old episode of Grey's Anatomy(any Grey's fan in the house? ) that best summarizes this idea "Keep it together anyway"
"we are aware of so many reasons to fall apart but we have lived in the glory of standing with our face towards the sun again & again" -Iijeoma Umebinyuo.
What does keeping it together entail?
It means that I’ll let out my gallon of tears but get to work right after or through the tears or take a restorative rest when I feel the pressure. It means leaning on friends- hitting them with a call or a long text. It means re-evaluating my goals and changing them based on the current situation. It means recalling your why and reviewing what truly is important to you. It means partaking in the self-improvement practices you did when things were good for me that were going on walks, doing a short exercise from Blogilates on youtube, or recently the Nike app. Journaling, creating an art journal doing anything that eases my mind.
True..., in the heat of the moment you'll feel like you don't have time for them but to combat this excuse implore shorter practices like doing 10 deep breaths, sitting still doing nothing, adding some aromatherapy, or walk from one end of your room to another. That night; I talked a little bit with the friend, took some deep breaths; reset my goals, got some work done, and went to bed early(well as early as students can go to sleep).
Having spoken about the horridness of Virtual school, let me share with you some of my highlights and what I did to attain them.
1. Connected with mentors and classmates
In the last blog, you would have read that I attained some mentors, the periodic virtual meetups made me interact with individuals from my school, get the sense of human connection I would have gotten if the school was not virtual in addition to gaining useful advice. I pushed out of my comfort zone and send a message to random students in my courses suggesting study sessions & meetups they only gave positive feedback (lol) and we did study vicariously and also engaged in insightful conversations (I live for these).
2. Participated in Extracurricular Activities
I joined a political advocacy committee and was actually able to act on social problems, I felt like I was really a part of saving the world(lool). It felt good connecting/conversing with individuals on activities that would cause a change in our immediate environments, I even hosted a podcast- that was pretty exciting and helpful in dealing with the pain of the Lekki Massacre. I definitely encourage you to check out a group or association relating to issues you care about, one that offers you to put in impactful work and then join and act.
3. Participated in a non-class related experience
Probably my most joyful moment was derived from a writing workshop I joined, hosted by a real writer. Thick in the forest of course loads, I shook my head at myself when I signed up but my soul was really calling to it and I jumped in 3 hours, 3 Mondays, and I emerged with a beautiful story of my travels across this earth. The connections made, stories heard and art made were worth juggling this into my schedule. I loved the piece of art and guess what? It came 3rd place in a writing contest- I was so elated!
4. The only perk (for me) of virtual schooling is that you can do it anywhere!
When I answered this to a friend who asked me "What's the positive of virtual schooling?" I had no idea where I was going to spend time otherwise from my home. As time passed opportunities came along and I grabbed them. A night or two for a hotel staycation, a week at a family friend, and a week at another; took my mind off the pain and refuelled me to persist.
Ideas for activities covid safe Christmas Festivities
As we know in life seasons commence and seasons come to an end.
I am ecstatic about the holiday break from school. Two nights ago I slept for like 12 hours and it felt great! Waking up to a day void of burdening tasks is a real luxury I have been cherishing these days. It is not just any holiday however It's Christmas! A time to reminisce on the birth of my Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ, God's premium gift to you and me. The initiation of an opportunity to directly interact with the creator- through forming a relationship with his son, Jesus. A time for family, sweet-tasting sorrel drinks, and tantalizing food. Most of us have to spend this Christmas in lockdown, so my gift for you is ideas for fun activities you can partake in with your family members or friends virtually during these times.
1. Christmas Olympics
This entails a series of games, a cumulation of marks leading to a winner. The games include: drinking a whole cup of beverage & completing a line from a Christmas song in a short period of time, like 1 or 2 minutes. The next includes separating multicolored candies like M&M or Jellybeans into their individual color groups also in a timely manner. Gift wrapping in a short period and creating a Christmas decoration in a timely manner. For more ideas and better explanation check out RUSHCAM and NETSJENNER YouTube Videos. I tried this with my family on Monday it was hilarious and very enjoyable.
2. DIY Christmas Gallery Show
Assign each family member an art piece to emulate or to freestyle and complete. Following completion; display these art pieces on the wall, choose a viewing time period play some Christmas carols, serve some drinks, and allow viewing to take place.
3. Digital Creation
Like the second this will exercise the artistic nerves of participants. Using an application like Canva you could ask individuals to create a Christmas themed graphic. You could do a Christmas family photoshoot and create graphic greeting cards.
4. Home Staged Concert
Whether it be a song, poetry, drumming, or drama; request each member to display some form of creative act ----> make a program---> pick an evening ---> stage the show! You could even invite people to watch it virtually. The more the merrier.
5. Draw it OR Eat it: Christmas Edition
Decide on food items that represent Christmas to you like: candy cane, turkey, wine… --> Place each item in front of participants and ask them to draw it as they see it--> the worst looking one has to eat the piece. The aim is for the food to taste unpalatable but for Christmas sake make them all great tasting!
6. New Christmas Meal
Check out the world wide web for new recipes to try and add to the Christmas meals.
And that's a wrap. Merry Christmas when it comes!
To celebrate the new year I will be releasing some blogs with tools to help you prepare for a purposeful and strategic 2021.Thanks to all who attended last month's self-care workshop. A vision boarding session will be hosted on January 22nd, 2021. If you want to attend, comment on this or respond to the email. Stay Tuned for New Year Tools.
Have a great holiday.
Never Stop Curating Your Best Life.
Y.E.N
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