Life is ever-changing, offering new opportunities for growth and development. There isn’t one perfect stage to reach, we just move on to the next setting which is full of lessons for us to learn. How much you gain depends on the openness of your mind, how reflective you are and self-aware. Self-awareness can help you create an environment that increases your happiness and eliminates triggers of bad actions and emotions. It can be cultivated. In this blog, I’ll speak on the many ways it can be nurtured with a spotlight on one of the most effective of them all.
The Process:
Having experienced some down moments, being actively knowledgeable about self-care tools and services, I had no reservations for therapy. People tend to tag therapy as a resource solely for individuals with chronic mental health illness, that is not so. We all have mental health like with our physical body. There are times when we are healthy and times when we are sick with an illness and sometimes we are born with or develop a disease. So you see there's no need for the reservation around mental illness and therapy. A therapist is just a mind doctor. I had concluded that a therapy check-in was just as necessary as a medical check-up. It was not a question of whether I was going to do it, rather it was a question of when I could afford it.
On January 26th, I booked my first therapy appointment- I was excited! A couple of weeks prior I found out that inclusive of my high school fees were services from my student wellness center. One of those services included a therapy service.
What is therapy?
Before we jump the gun I want to explain what this form of therapy is. Psychological or talk therapy is where two parties talk through situations to aid emotional difficulties and mental strain. A therapist is trained to identify talking points that contain emotional or mental struggle even if unknown to the patient.
The different forms are:
Venting to a considerate friend or stranger,
talking to a trained professional either a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist.
The difference is that a clinical psychologist is someone with a Ph.D. who takes a holistic approach when working with individuals however they are not qualified to prescribe. A psychiatrist is someone with a medical degree who takes a physiological approach and is qualified to prescribe medication if necessary.
Anyways, I booked an appointment via phone call and waited excitedly for the session. They sent in a document which was to gather some minor medical information and history. Ironically, when I clicked on the link, I was rather calm (maybe it was nerves).
There she was… my first therapist, she introduced herself and encouraged me to do the same. She went through some details and things that I had to consent to. For example: Was she allowed to take notes? Did I want to continue virtually or through phone calls?
Then we got right into it….
She asked me why I am seeking therapy right now? What do I hope to achieve?
if I had any questions for her. Then she invited me to tell her about myself, who I am and where I am from, my past and present life. When I was finished giving her an overview of myself, she went back to something I had mentioned (a bullying experience) and asked me to elaborate more about it and how it made me feel.
Up until this point the discussion was conversational, when she did this I felt the therapeutic effect of our discussion coming along. I went on to express my feelings and we spent the session addressing them. This was not my first time talking about this part of my life. What was different though was that I had not realized the imprinted effect it had on me. Now I saw the effect it had on others but I thought that I had adapted well or something. This realization surprised me, I was like WOW!!
Overall, it was short, sweet & meaningful.
I want to draw you into something she did that we can all do in our lives. When I told my story, she spotted the part that would elicit pain and then fleshed it out to unveil the depths and burdens of it. Do you know of an experience, thought or activity you would rather brush aside? Instead of brushing it aside, take notice of it and make a note to talk to someone around you about it or journal about it.
Like with everything this might not work well for all persons but there are other forms of self-awareness techniques. This brings me to the alternatives of therapy;
My therapist saw that I had a good level of self-awareness prior to interacting with her. I understood this as I can be a therapist to myself or set up therapy settings in my regular life.
How?
Journal & Review
Writing down your thoughts and activities periodically- daily or weekly and assessing reasons for your actions and virtually anything you want- I want to start doing more prayer journaling. Journaling allows you to throw off the burdens on your mind and offers you visual insight into your mind & thought process. Whilst reviewing can help you to identify moments of weakness, and areas in which you can improve.
Types of journaling: stream of consciousness, free form mind mapping, 2 -minute journaling, and others.
Stream of Consciousness Journaling: is a type of writing where you sit for a set period of time (10 minutes - 20 minutes) and pour out your passing thoughts on the sheet of paper. There is no worry about sentence structure (this is not an essay lol) just you unloading your thoughts in the current moment and having a conversation with yourself. If you cannot think of anything to write at that moment you can write that down too. It tends to provide clarity and has the benefits of generating new ideas and gaining insights into yourself. Check out this BLOG to read more about the stream of consciousness.
In free-form mind mapping: you place a word that describes how you currently feel or just your name, then draw a bubble/circle around it and start drawing branches off the bubble/circle. At the end of these branches, you would then write words or phrases that are possibly causing such emotion or that are bothering you. You can draw multiple ones and link them. The Essy report gives a more detailed insight into this form of self-discovery writing. This can go for as long or short as you want it to. Do not stress about making it look pretty (this can deter you)- I always just use a pen/ pencil and paper. I love it because it has me sketching stuff yet offloading my mind and in the end, I feel like I created some form of art.
2-minute Journaling: Some think that journaling has to take a long time, it does not. In my most recent self-help read- ‘You are Awesome’ by Neil Parischa, The writer introduced a structure for journaling in just 2 minutes. He offers these prompts to ensure this is so every time:
“I will let go of...
I am grateful for…
I will focus on…”
These prompts are to help you release regrets or haunting thoughts, increase your happiness by reliving positive experiences and help to refine your to-do list. This article expounds more.
I try to intently write these and remind myself about them as I go through the day.
Deep level conversations with friends or strangers
One of my favorite activities in life is having deep conversations. Deep meaning, not surface level, but insightful and wholesome. Most of these types of conversations circle around situations of society, however when they circle to participate they can provide valuable insights. I recall
2. Conscious Self-Awareness
Observe your thoughts, take note of things that cause you to be high on emotions (whether extremely happy or extremely sad) and your triggers. You can jot them down on one side of a paper and on the other side jot down what to do to enhance or diminish the situation based on what you want.
My first therapist taught me that sometimes you have to dig deeper to uncover things and that negative experiences can leave silent traumas and even though they may not be pleasant to revisit, doing so can make you understand yourself better. I left feeling inspired to work through my traumas & find healing.
Most of the work is for you to do; you reveal, you consider what tools can suit yourself and you do the work required to change. Tap into available resources. In the end, my therapist made me aware of other resources that I could use to help me better myself.
My tips for when meeting with a therapist:
Don't be scared or nervous
Ask the therapist about themselves
Recognize your level of self-awareness
After each session, it is best to Review-What the vibe did I get from the conversation? Do you think you would be comfortable sharing more with them?
Some free resources you can access are:
You can’t grow if you do not identify the area or the reason why you should improve and how to do so. Being self-aware can help you through this. Be mindful that it is a continuous process.
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